Subspace – that treasured mythical land of the submissive, where deep into scene they are overtaken with euphoria and simultaneously become a plaything for the dominant.  Taking massive levels of pain with endorphins coursing through their veins. Sometimes it gets so deep reality separates, the world goes surreal and foggy.  At times the experience is difficult to remember, thus remain a secret within the mind of the submissive, never to be written down or understood.

There is nothing mythical or special about subspace, these a fairly regularly occurring psychological phenomenon, though with BDSM it combines several of them in an interesting concert.

The feeling of euphoria is a very physiological reaction, if you overthrow the pain threshold that happens.  It’s the body compensating for being thrown into overdrive.  The chemicals released into the brain make it easier to slip into different states of consciousness.  Survivors of severe car accidents often report surreal and out of body experiences.

High levels of physical trauma invoke a physiological dissociative response, the nervous separates itself from visceral reality, in layman’s terms, so your brain doesn’t fry.  Really so you can stay aware enough to navigate the trauma and survive.  If we were to feel everything and remain 100% engaged during traumatic events we would wig out.

This physiological system is old, it exists in a lot of animals, pretty much all with nervous systems.  It is what allows a trapped animal to chew it’s leg off.

There are a few other interesting components to subspace though.

The additional psychological component that we get from being human beings.  The psychological dynamic of the power exchange where the submissive is to perceive helplessness.  This indeed assists in facilitating the physiological response.  The submissive is not given the option of fight or flight in the scene, and is left with apocalyptic option #3, to survive it.

The third and coolest, is that this experience is consensual, and safe.  This is what the submissive wants.  This is what the dominant wants.

Trauma response, and shock, are some of the most feared things about being human.  We have a hardwired physiological system that teaches us to avoid these situations whenever possible.  It’s the primary role of adrenalin.  When the body perceives danger, this is activated causing a temporary physiological revamp of the body.  Being people with a very deep psychological world with social relationships, emotions, rational thinking, and language we often add the interpersonal to triggers for this response.

However, when fight or flight fails the body has such an amazing mechanism of payoff.  The body and mind work in concert to bend reality around the pain, and reverse it into euphoria.  Euphoria seems a poor dig when pinned under a pile of burning rubble, but BDSM promises way better conditions.

One thing to note though is earlier I discussed physiological dissociative phenomenon.   Psychological dissociation is often marked through blackouts, personality alterations, partial dissociation of memory, fugue states where memory is lost and personality altered.  It happens most often when the mind perceives a threat to the self.  It is most often seen in instances of human conflict and violence, and rarely seen as a response to natural phenomenon.  I do not consider this to be subspace, but rather dissociation, my own opinion is consent ends when consciosness does.  Unless, these states of mind were a part of the goal of the scene.

We all experience altered states of consciousness, and for me one the joys of submission is experiencing massive shifts in my perception, sensation, and at times what feels like breaches in reality.   It is empowering to me to push myself mentally and physically, and to place myself in a position that my mind is hardwired for me to avoid.  To invoke the apocalyptic option #3 and bear witness to rapture.  It is why I do this, and I feel great afterwards.

Until this year when I have been active with BDSM play was a regular part of day to day activity. It would ebb and flow, and the dynamics themselves were very fluid.

Since then I have returned to the scene polyamorous and a busy professional. I currently don’t have a primary partner so I only get time to play occasionally and I play very hard.

I was warned about sub drop, and I swear it was a self fulfilling prophecy, initally I felt disempowered and depressed post scene, train wreck feeling and very low energy. I did take care of my body well by eating a lot of protein and vitamin rich produce. I was ok in several days and thankfully was given an opportunity to process what happened.

Thing is it was expected that I was going to be confronted with something uncontrollable and would need to be cared for. This in many ways made me feel helpless emotionally and mentally to be able to change how I felt about the situation.

I still experience low energy and the train wreck feeling post scene. However I recognize it as my body recovering. I get the same feeling after long performances (fire performer), or any other strenuous activity. Except with more bruises and scratches

I anticipate this prior to engaging in a scene, and I respect the feeling when it comes. I pamper myself, buy fresh foods (vegan), convert largely to a raw diet, wear comfortable clothes, and pick low key activities. Usually this occurs 1 to 2 days post scene, and there is no mental or emotional drop associated with it.

Thing is yes there is involvement of endorphins, adrenalin, etc. However, strenuous high impact activity in general causes this. Once I removed the experience from the psychological effect of the scene I realized it was much the same.

Now actually post scene I feel damn awesome, and within several days feel so level, confident and happy.

I’ve been dating for over 6 months now.  I’ve learned a lot from the experience, both about myself and people in general.  While I am into BDSM I also like people outside the scene.  However, I’ve had massive difficulty with that territory.

My first serious relationships all had major BDSM components. It was a lot of what made them major relationships in my life.  We had amazing communication, there was a comprehensive fearlessness in so far as how we approached one another.  It was what in large part made me a solid woman.

What I have found is that my “vanilla” partners just have trouble doing this.  I expend a lot of time and energy into trying to get things to function, and get no where.  They act odd at times around me, and never cough up what the issue is.  They’re never forward about anything.

Also, there is an overemphasis on sex.  Which I don’t like.  With BDSM sex is good, and it does happen; but we’re so creative and there is so many other things we manage to do to one another with no issue.  Scenes have ended and I have been completely satisfied without sex, which is great since I am polyamorous and am not down with catching diseases.

I’m considering making a break with vanilla dynamics.

I’ll sit on it for a few days, but the thought of it feels like a huge relief.